2021
From the inside out
During a period of profound emotional collapse, I found myself admitted to a psychiatric facility — a place of confinement, but also of unexpectedintensity. Amid the struggle, I held on to one fragile lifeline: my art. Within those walls, day after day, I witnessed the lives, faces, and silences of my fellow patients. Slowly, the impulse grew to capture them — to render, in watercolor, the human presence that existed behind each gaze. Each portrait is a quiet act of acknowledgment, including my own self-portrait, created as a mirror to the inner world I was trying to navigate. Alongside the images, teaming with a curator friend of mine in New York, we paired questions — subtle, open, intimate — as invitations to reflection. The result is a series that is both delicate and profoundly moving, a testament to resilience, vulnerability, and the power of art to illuminate what is often unseen.
PIETRO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am polite and generous. I am a Latin lover.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is an inner sense of well-being—feeling good with yourself and feeling good with others.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when I went to the REMS. Because of the therapy I was taking, I kept fainting on the couches constantly. I’ve been through prison, psychiatry, and compulsory medical treatments many times, but the three years in the REMS really took my freedom away. During that time, my mother got sick, was hospitalized, and we no longer even have our house in Rome—everything stayed there.
PIERLUIGI
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am a good person.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is going back home, to a rented house, after work.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom in ’99 when my brother died in a motorcycle accident. He was eleven years older than me and, since I lost my father when I was little, we always shared many things, including our passion for motorcycles. Since he’s been gone, I’ve been left without any points of reference.
MASSIMO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I love my mother very much. I have many friends at the CSM day center. I like life outside the community because everyone cares about me. I have a sister who has always been distant, and I hope that one day she will grow closer again to me and to our mother.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is not having to answer to anyone for my actions—only to myself.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when I became ill, after I started university. My parents separated when I was eighteen, and I had always been bullied at school; I was always isolated in class and had many fears. When I enrolled in Philosophy I was living alone in Morlupo. I managed it for three years, but then I no longer had the strength. That day my father came to pick me up and took me to the SPDC because I was throwing my books out of the window. It was lunchtime, and when my dad took me away the soup was still on the stove, left on the heat.
ALESSANDRO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I’m passionate about engines and cars. In both love and friendship, I can’t stand betrayal. I’m very sociable and I never lose heart.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is living independently.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when some of my clients talked and informed on me. I lived in a small town and I was the only one dealing there. I could no longer keep hashish at home because of the frequent searches, and every time I was sitting on the wall smoking, the police would arrive, take me to the station, and make me strip naked.
MARIO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am polite and respectful… of course I’ve made my mistakes, but I’ve gotten myself back on track. I really enjoy practicing spearfishing.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is having your own independence: going to work, living on your own, and not relying on your family.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when I lost my father. When he was there, we used to do many things together. I felt safe, free to have experiences, even adventurous ones. After his death, everything went downhill. I made the wrong choices.
ADRIANO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am a likeable person and a man of my word.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is being free from other people’s prejudices while still respecting the rules.
How long have you been without your freedom?
I lost my freedom when I started using drugs. My life changed — I began to think only about that. Even while I was eating, I was thinking about what I would do afterward. It became an obsession. During all those years it was a heavy burden that conditioned my life. In the end, I was left alone.
When my mother died, I felt resentment toward my father. I had always thought that, since she was ten years younger than him, one day I would stay with her, not with him. So for a long time I carried that resentment — I was angry. Then I grew closer to him, maybe precisely when I lost my freedom again. He became ill and I had to take care of him. I was always with him, looking after him. I was still alone, even though my father always told me I was doing a good job, and that made me happy.
Then he broke his femur and died suddenly. I came here, and just a few days later the lockdown began. Once again, I lost my freedom.
GIULIANO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I have never stolen even a single candy.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is being able to walk and go wherever you want.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when they took me to the SPDC, seven years ago. I was drinking too much, walk around and smashing other people’s mobile phones.
FRANCESCO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I have a great passion for and deep respect for Nature. Friendship is extremely important to me.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is emotional independence, without conditioning or feelings of guilt. Freedom is being able to choose your own treatment and who administers it. Freedom is knowing other languages.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I totally lost my freedom when I arrived at the REMS. I had come from Regina Coeli’s prison, but there I hadn’t felt this way, yes I was locked in, but still as a human being. As soon as I arrived at the REMS, I immediately realized that I ended up in a very bad situation. The “doctor” called me into his office — I was still holding the black garbage bag with my clothes inside — and, without any possibility of responding, he made me sign a paper that he could give me any drug without taking his responsibility for the side effects. I didn’t want, but I was blackmailed I would never get out of there if I did not sign. That was only the beginning. In a very short time I lost my identity, my emotions and I became obese.
FAUSTO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I really enjoy going to the sea. I would like to buy a small house in the center of Tivoli. I would love to live off my disability pension while at the same time working as a mechanic, which is the job I do well. I have always dreamed of having a dog to keep me company and to give it affection.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is being able to choose between yes and no, between what you can and cannot do.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom five years ago when I was arrested for the last time. I had been out of prison for a year and had occupied a house, but the police came for me. Not the other times, but this time I felt the injustice.
FABIO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I’m someone who truly believes in love between a man and a woman.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is leaving here and closing the chapter with doctors and judges.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when my father died. We were very close and worked together in a small company. Even when he got sick, I was working a lot. I was working when he passed away — we had a project to deliver, and I didn’t even get to see him one last time; I wasn’t there. After he died, I threw myself into work. I missed him, and I worked to avoid thinking.
FABIO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I have always loved Lazio.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is life itself. I feel free in the evening because I can rest. When the day is over, you go to bed calm and relaxed.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom in ’92 when my father died, and I never felt free again. Out of remorse, because I could have saved him. He had felt unwell, and I took him to the hospital. He needed tests, and they wanted to keep him there, but he wanted to leave. I kept telling him, “Dad, you have to stay, you need treatment,” but there was no way. In the end, I said, “Do as you please,” and took him home. I should have insisted, but then he got sick and died. I have carried that guilt ever since, and later came the depression.
EMANUELE
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am very sensitive, I grew up without parents who loved me, but with two grandparents and an aunt who filled that role well. I love friendship with everyone. I am reserved and shy at first, before getting to know people. I am sincere and honest. I really enjoy diving and the sea. I also like working. I don’t like drugs or alcohol, and I don’t like stealing.
What is freedom to you?
I don’t know how to explain it…
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when I experienced my mother’s abandonment. I was 13 years old. She legally disowned me, and that’s when my life began moving between foster homes and community centers.
FABRIZIO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am shy, introverted, and solitary. I have few friends, but the few true friendships I have are solid. I strongly believe in honesty.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is being able to move around freely, meet the few people you like, have free time to reflect and read, and have a decent financial situation.
How long have you lost your freedom?
The loss of freedom comes from my way of being. I have never truly felt free; I have always been shy and never socialized much. My identity feels like a chain; I feel ill-suited for life. I didn’t feel free because I couldn’t speak in public. They took away my driver’s license, then I ended up in the forensic psychiatric hospital, and that’s when I concretely lost my freedom.
MAURO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I’m a very cerebral person, sometimes sensitive, but I’ve changed a lot recently. I’ve suffered a lot in my life, and for a long time I didn’t get along with my mother.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is feeling fulfilled, finding a balance between being at peace with yourself and your social circumstances.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when they started spying on everything I did. I tried in vain to protect my privacy, but they even had bugs in my phone. Then they arrested me because I was no longer useful to them.
ALESSIO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am a very fragile and emotional young man. I really enjoy joking and playing around, being in company, and helping those in difficulty. I also like working. I love going fishing.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is having a calm and peaceful dialogue.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when I started being hospitalized in the SPDC. I was thirteen and a half years old. They admitted me to Umberto I Hospital, and I felt terrible because I saw others doing things I couldn’t do.
BRAHIM
If you really knew me, you would know that…
I am a very fragile and emotional young man, but I am also very likeable and cheerful. I have always sold drugs and spent my nights at Howard.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is being able to live with Gaetano.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom five years ago, when I stabbed my mother. I hurt her, not just physically. I lost my freedom—not because they locked me up, that had happened before—but because of what I did.
FEDERICO
If you really knew me, you would know that…
The staff at Villa Maddalena never really got to know me deeply. I have been passionate about hunting for a long time because I often went with my father. The sixteen years I spent with my wife were the happiest of my life. In the mornings, when I woke up and looked at her, I felt a great love.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is a wonderful thing. It’s when I do whatever comes to mind — going to clubs, meeting girls, taking walks, strolling along Via del Corso in Rome.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I lost my freedom when I started using substances. I was thirteen or fourteen years old. They ruined my life, though at the time I didn’t realize it because physically I felt like a hero.
SALVATORE
If you really knew me, you would know that…
Patience clears the way. Unfortunately, I spit too much, I’m Sardinian, deaf in one ear. What matters is the present.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom is being able to wander around at night without anyone hitting you on the head… Also, I’m a slave to coffee; I would feel free if I weren’t addicted to it.
How long have you lost your freedom?
I’ve lost my freedom every time I was abandoned. I’ve experienced many abandonments. My mother left me at an institution when I was little, and then my brothers and sisters abandoned me too — so many abandonments.
